Life Doesn’t Happen With Background Music

THE SPIRAL

Isn't it funny how we’re always chasing the next thing? We set goals, work toward them, and then, without even realizing it, move the finish line further. Somewhere along the way, we forget to acknowledge how far we’ve come.

A few months ago I found myself spiraling and losing control of my thoughts. It would usually start late at night and the thoughts ran like a news ticker: I am not doing enough, I am not doing what people my age are doing, I should have learned, I should've done my master's.

These thoughts would creep in and with every passing moment, they would multiply. 

No matter how much I tried to silence these thoughts, they found a way to resurface. When I was scrolling through LinkedIn, seeing people my age thriving in their careers, when I was talking to old friends and realized our lives had taken different paths, when I tried to fall asleep, but the weight of “not enough” sat heavy on my chest.

And the worst part? 

I wasn’t even sleeping properly. The spiral of overthinking drained me so much that I could barely focus on the present. I spent months feeling stuck, so you know that past few months were a complete hellhole for me.

THE TURN

Then one morning, after what felt like my first proper night of sleep in ages, I woke up and felt… different. Lighter, maybe. Clearer.

There wasn’t any grand moment of realization.

But as I went about my day, something unexpected hit me: I have actually done the things I once wished for.

For months, I had been drowning in thoughts about what I hadn’t done. But in that moment, for the first time in a long time, I thought about what I had done.

LOOKING BACK - Counting my bessings

When I was in college, I was a lazy brat. I thought whatever I wish for would fall into place (without actually putting any effort into it) and to no one's surprise... THINGS. NEVER. FELL. INTO. PLACE.

Thankfully, I was surrounded by a bunch of motivated girls and after college my perspective shifted. In every situation, I would think "what would Gaya do here?", "what would Adrija do in this situation?" or "how would've Ananyaa reacted here?" This shift fostered my will to achieve all the things that I have today.

• I used to tell my friends that I’d work after graduation, save up, and maybe then do my master’s. And you know what? I did that.
• I always loved fashion, not just as a consumer but as someone genuinely fascinated by the industry. I once told myself that I wanted to work in fashion someday. And I did.
• During my school days, I was intrigued by social media, not just posting pictures but the entire process of strategizing, writing, and making an impact through content. I used to think, "Wouldn’t it be amazing to work in social media?" And I did.
• In school and college, I was always the chubby girl who wished to be healthier. During the pandemic, I finally stopped wishing and started doing. My goal wasn’t just to lose weight but to build a healthy lifestyle. It took me a year, but I lost 10 kgs. More importantly, I gained something I never had before: a sense of control over my body, my habits, and my mindset.
• Even in my personal life, I once had a clear idea of the kind of person I wanted to be with. Kind, street-smart, soft-spoken, a good listener, someone without a fragile male ego. And in 2021, I found him.
• Then there were the material things, the small desires I had along the way. And you know what? I had checked off so many of those too.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had been so busy chasing the next thing that I never took a moment to acknowledge the things I had already achieved.

THE REALISATION

You know in movies, when a character meet their goals, there is a upbeat music, slow motion shots, everyone cheering or crying for them. THAT. That doesn't happy in real life. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad. There’s no external validation telling you, Hey, this is a big deal! Sometimes, you don’t even realize you’ve won because it happens so subtly.

Maybe that's why I kept feeling that I hadn't done enough. I was expecting a cinematic turn. I was expecting tear-brimmed eyes, big laughs and people celebrating.

But life doesn't work that way :)

THE TAKEAWAY

Maybe these wins seem small to others, but so what? This is your life. Your journey.

No music will start playing when you get what you once wished for. There won’t be a slow-motion scene or a dramatic pause. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a win.

So take a moment. Look back. Some of the things you once wished for are now just part of your everyday life. You’ve probably done more than you give yourself credit for. Funny how that happens right?

And if life had background music, this would be the part where it plays.